In the Corner

Before I move on I first must tell you all something... I HAVE A NIECE!! She was born yesterday and I hold her as we speak (aka as I type). She is fabulous and I cant wait to have many adventures with her and learn things from her. I love her a lot and could talk about her all day so I will cut myself off... for now.

Alright so kind of on the topic of children... I was once a child. (Captain Obvious to the rescue) And as I reflect on my childhood today I have concluded that my parents never really punished me. I shall explain that a bit more.

     I was one of those perfect child that rarely got in trouble… I’m serious. Sort of. It just never occurred to me to disobey them or rebel against them. My mother will even tell you herself that she can't remember many times that I was ever in trouble. It should also be noted that my older sister was a bit of a trouble maker so after her I was the super sweet child. *angel smile* 

     As I have three siblings sometimes all four of us would get punished as a result of collateral damage, like say all of us being grounded from TV so that no one could watch it, but I don't recall the grounding ever lasting too long. My parents may have their own explanation but from my perspective I think they never kept us grounded for very long because they liked hanging out with us. Can't blame them, usually funny parents end up with funny and entertaining kids.

    

So my thought for today is if, as a child, I were constantly punishing and disciplining myself for my parents would they not think this odd? Especially for an action that has long since past and already been punished for? What normal child would do that?

"No mommy, I was bad four months ago, I'm going to bed without any dessert." 

"No daddy, I can't watch cartoons with you, I scribbled on the wall with permanent marker three years ago."

"No sisters, I can't play Barbies, I have to sit in the corner because I cut off all my hair with dull scissors last year."

That doesn't make any sense. So why do we, as adults, sometimes do this? Punish ourselves and keep ourselves in pain and sit in a corner even though we don't need to? I think many times it comes down to self-forgiveness. Perhaps you've found yourself in a situation where you were greatly hurt. Although many go through the very uneasy process of forgiving the other person or people involved, many forget to look inwardly. Self-forgiveness is one of the most difficult things to do but let me tell you this:

Get out of the corner, take the soap out of your mouth, and stop going to bed early! 

If you've asked for forgiveness from those required of you, resolved the situation and made things right with God... why are you still sitting in a corner staring at a wall?

"I am not going to hangout with any of my friends and have fun because I've hurt too many people in the past, I should not be trusted anymore."

"I can't face my family ever again because I disgraced the family name five years ago."

"God, I can't let you love me right now, I've done too many things wrong."

Get out of the corner.

God just wants to love you. He's not punishing you, you are punishing you because you haven't forgiven yourself. You have friends, family and especially God that just want to hangout with you! Punishing yourself on a daily basis for the same action doesn't make sense. Example: My nephew would be none too happy to wake up tomorrow and find out he had to go back into time out again for something he was already punished for today. And if that kept happening on a daily basis eventually the comment "But I was already put in time out for that" would come up. I had to look at myself and my life like this. Was I avoiding happiness or avoiding letting good things happen to me because I thought I should still be punished? Heck yes I was. This was a tough realization, but learning to forgive yourself gives you the freedom to live without constant punishment again.

Friends, are you sitting in a corner on a little plastic chair?

Storytime: Sun Abandonment?

Hi friends!!

Today is self declared story day. Ready? let's storytime it!

Storytime
One sunny day Mr.Walksalot was walking down a road with trees, like so:

Mr.Walksalot walked along enjoying the sunshine with no particular place or goal he was walking towards. Just walking along, being content with life. After walking in the sun for a period of time he walked into one of the trees' shadow and stopped in his tracks.
"Sun! Why have you abandoned me!?" He screamed upwards with a frown on his face. (He is a bit of an eccentric guy as you can imagine.)
     Mr.Walksalot was extremely upset but kept walking along with slumped shoulders. All of a sudden he found himself in the sun again and was so relieved that the sun had returned. He felt the sun's warmth on his face and couldn't help but smile. He walked with a joyful bounce in his step until yet again he found himself in a shady area.
"Sun! Why have you abandoned me, again!? Oh woe is me, I am so cold now, I just want to be warm and happy again!" He once again yelled upwards, this time with his hands on his hips.
     He grumbled as he once again walked along, but wouldn't you know it, a few moments later he passed through the shadow and the sunshine shined down on his face once more.
"What a joyous day, the sun has returned!" He excitedly announced... to no one.
    And on and on it went. Sun, shadow, cheering, grumbling, happy, mad, etc.

Finally, Mr. Walksalot got to a point where he was so sick and tired of walking along this road that he looked for another. Luckily (for him and for my story) there was a road just to his left. He took that opportunity. Upon turning on to this new road this is what he saw:


A road without trees and therefore without shadows, and most importantly, the sun standing proudly at the head of the road.
"I shall stay on this road and head towards that sun, my source of warmth and energy, as this is now the only walkable road that makes sense to me." Mr. Walksalot said out loud... to himself.
     So Mr. Walksalot walked confidently with purpose down this road towards the sun, aiming to get ever closer to it, the sun forever on his glowing face. He took a glance back at the road that he had come from and realized that the sun had never actually moved nor left him as he walked along it, but that the trees that man had planted along that road made it harder for him to see and feel the sun's warmth. The sun was actually constant, never leaving the sky.

Storytime Statement: God is constantly present amongst struggled filled walks of life, as well as shining bright guiding you towards Him if you choose to take the light filled path he offers.

Tree Climbing

Today I am going into the memory bank of my life...

When I was young I used to be awesome at climbing trees. Looking back now I perchance remember me being a better climber then I actually ever was… but nevertheless I recall getting myself up into a lot of trees and just hanging out there and having an awesome time. Sometimes I would climb with others, sometimes I would climb by myself and then wave down at the suckers that weren’t being super awesome up in the tree, like me. Now… here’s the unfortunate thing I was not good at: Climbing OUT of trees.

Yes, I was that cat child that would climb trees and then panic and not know how to get down. Throw a little dramatic into the mix and I was the child that would have to jump out of the tree practically breaking my leg every time, demanding someone to get my dad to catch me, or declaring that I was just going to live in that tree forever (or giving it serious thought anyway). Since I am not writing this from a tree you can all breathe easy knowing that I got out of every single tree... with little to no wounds beyond some minor emotional trauma. No big deal.

Life Lesson: It’s easy to climb into a tree. It’s a lot more difficult and scary getting OUT of the same tree.

And while I was thinking about this life lesson of COURSE I thought about how this relates to other things and this is the deep brain thought that came upon me.

Sherylynn’s Deep Thought Time: It’s easy to get into a bad relationship. It’s a lot more difficult and scary to get OUT of that relationship. Sometimes the adventure of the relationship is so great that all of a sudden you realize one day that you are stuck in it and you have no idea how to get out. Do you just jump out and hope you don’t break your heart? Do you find a rebound relationship and just get someone else to catch you? Do you retrace and undo all your steps and hope it gets you out of the relationship? Do you just stay in the relationship even though it gets you no where?

Sometimes you have to put yourself through a little bit of pain to find freedom. 

If you have limited mobility (physically, emotionally, spiritually) and constantly fear the fact that you are stuck in a relationship, not knowing if you are going to get pushed out one day or fall out another day, your heart is constantly going to be beating faster as you look down at the ‘ground’ at how far away it seems. A mix of fear and longing imprinted on your heart. Similarly, sometimes you just have to jump out of that tree and feel that tingly pain in your legs because it is not beneficial to live in a tree forever. It’s just not.

I think good, healthy relationships are kept at ground level. A level that you can’t be pushed out of or fear falling out of. Ground level is safe and secure, a level easily committed to and still capable of crazy fun adventures. 

Friends, try not to get stuck in a tree.

Jumping back to my childhood memory: I don’t recall how many times he saved me but I am so grateful that I have a dad that would come and catch me out of those trees. I am also very grateful that I wasn’t a REALLY good tree climber as I imagine I would still be sitting on top of an extremely tall tree somewhere, chilling with an eagles nest.

Beautiful Days are Coming.

If I may be bold this week, I will admit something to you: I want to be beautiful forever. And the even bigger thought that hit me was that this should be one of the most obvious things ever. Does it not make sense that one would want to, one, BE beautiful, and, two, to STAY beautiful. Shouldn’t every woman have this dream within her? Have women become too afraid to admit that they want to be beautiful or do they feel like that dream is unattainable? Here’s the thing, I’m not talking about beauty, I’m talking beautiful. The kind of beautiful that remains the same whether a woman is 22 or 82: Wrinkle Resistant. The kind of beautiful that a phone call can remind you of how beautiful a woman is: Physically Non-Reliant. The kind of beautiful that people feel when a woman is present in their life: Role Model.

I want to be the woman that doesn’t have to stress herself out trying to be beautiful, she just is.

Now by admitting this do I go against what I just claimed or betray ‘my plan’ for becoming beautiful? Maybe… maybe not… but I want to tell you this with honesty and vulnerability as I’m not trying to sound conceited or proud, don’t think that for a second. I pray to become beautiful for myself and I pray this for others because if you don’t feel you have the potential to be beautiful you will not gain the confidence to do so. I spent a good portion of my adult life NOT acknowledging this thought and I don’t ever want to go back to that darkness. Never ever. I want to be beautiful. A beautiful woman doesn’t care what she looks like, how many wrinkles she has or frets about what people say when she is not around because she stands tall in a calm confidence, not arrogance. This thought to be beautiful isn’t something that I am going to stress over or wonder if I am failing at though, you know why? Because I can only fail if I stop trying, which I won’t. A beautiful woman is a woman that learns constantly; if she makes mistakes she resolves the problem and learns from them. Perhaps it may take the same error in different formats to learn, but she will learn. I will learn. I don’t strive for perfection as that I will definitely  fail very quickly; I strive to be beautiful amongst my learning. I long to be someone that is God-fearing, trustworthy, friendly, confident, forgiving, encouraging, caring, enthusiastic, loving, full of self-worth, responsible etc. I have such a strong desire to be beautiful amongst the decay of what the world throws at me that it makes me excited all over again to simply live life. I want to be beautiful.

When you put make up on in the morning you have a pretty good idea of what you want it to end of looking like. If you didn’t people may wonder why you have mascara on as blush, lipstick as concealer, eye shadow as lip liner, etc.

If you don’t know what you want yourself to look like you can’t work to achieve that.

If you’re thinking to yourself, “No Sherylynn, you don’t get it, I can’t be beautiful… maybe if someone else could just tell me I was beautiful I might be able to believe it…” but believe this: sometimes the ‘someone’ that can have the biggest impact on you… is you.

“A diamond is a diamond whether it believes it is or not.”

I want to be beautiful forever. Don’t you?