New Opinion Marriage

Greetings friends!

I am now back to posting every Monday. And for the last few weeks I have been thinking on this topic: people's very conflicting views on marriage. Obviously I'm not going to get into some huge technical debate because let's be serious, I'll just bore myself... plus I lack the knowledge to do so... but I will mention this.

Here I go.

When family, friends or strangers find out you are getting married or have gotten married you basically get a variation of one of these reactions:

"Oh my gosh I'm so excited for you!!"
OR
"You'll regret it! Worst decision I ever made."

Now, be honest, which of these reactions do you think tells more about the persons own life/marriage then it does about yours?
Hint: Vote #2.
To keep you in the loop, I got married last week and I had a handful of situations where people I knew or complete strangers told me what a horrible decision marriage was and that I still have time to back out. In fact, as I was getting some wedding photos taken an older couple biked past us and the man said "You'll regret it" then kept biking. I shake my head at you. One, how do you think that makes your wife feel? Two, if you say dumb things like this in front of your wife, that is probably not helping your marriage. I will stop there.

My annoyance today is with people's opinion on marriage. Whether serious or 'joking' a vast majority of people carry the opinion that marriage is to be regretted, the end of your life, a horrible commitment, giving up all control of your life, a battlefield of sorts and the worst part is they work to pass this opinion on to any newly engaged or married couple! Why?? This baffles my mind. In an offensive manner I say that just because you dislike how your marriage is going should in no way impact the way my marriage(or other people's marriages) will go.

Now, before we get too carried away here I am shining the light on the positive. I know way more couples that love marriage!! They love what God has created and how He brings people together. I know people that love to fall in love over and over again with their spouse and have been doing so for years. Family and friends that work at their marriage and it thrives and they have nothing but encouragement and joy for new couples that get to now experience the joy of marrying the love of their life. Guess which side I am going to go to for advice. (Rhetorical question. Not going to pessimistic people, just for clarification).

If you are quietly thinking to yourself "Sherylynn you've only been married for a week... give it time you'll see what a bad decision it was.." I respond in my two year old nephew's fashion and I say "NOT!" aka No. When you fill your mind with these things then your mind and emotions start preparing themselves for when things will 'go bad' or for when the 'honeymoon stage' is over. I choose to be excited about marriage, not just for me but for others as well. I choose to be for my marriage not against it and I choose to encourage all marriages for my friends, family members, and even strangers. I choose to communicate and resolve when need be to keep my marriage strong. I choose to hold a new optimistic view on marriage that others can follow. I choose to look for life not death and to encourage not breakdown. I choose to love.

Married... who me?

"But I thought other people got married.... WHY AM I WEARING THIS WHITE DRESS!!"

My life feels unreal today. I am getting married. How did this happen. and to me?!? I feel like I am in awe of my life right now...pause... let me reword that.

I am in awe of God's work in my life right now, today, always.

HOW AM I GETTING MARRIED!! AND TO THE GREATEST GUY EVER. (Seriously.. have you met him? He's great. I want him... which works out well.)

I am just almost speechless with my joy and ... I have no words. You think I am kidding. I just... ahhhh!!

I always saw other people getting married around me.. siblings, cousins, friends... other people?.. but never really figured out how that happened. How does one find the person they are to marry, they get through the awkward dating stage and it just all works out and then you realize that it is your WEDDING DAY!! and all of a sudden you have become that bride that everyone will look at. This is such a strange feeling. I suppose many single people sit and wonder why they are single but there is also the other side, which I am finding right now... HOW AM I GETTING MARRIED!!! I knew this day was coming since I got engaged... but it is just real real today! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THAT HANDSOME MAN AND TO PARTY WITH EVERYONE!!!

Why do I get to be so blessed and privileged to be Andrew's wife, I mean this is crazy!! I get to (corny line warning) marry my best friend. I have many whom I LOVE to hangout with but Andrew tops the list. Andrew.. that man. He's funny, he's sweet, he takes care of me, he's crazy caring, he's just plain crazy, and he's incredibly great to look at to give only like 0.1% of why I love him so. THIS IS CRAZY!! And I get to spend forever with him! That is incredible. AHHHHHH I'M GETTING MARRIED!! GET ME DOWN THAT AISLE!! THANK YOU GOD!!!

I can't wait to eat some of our cherry mouse desserts... cookie crumble crust. Delicious.

So... those are my thoughts... now you know what this bride is thinking about.

FRIENDS!!! IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!

Self Inflicted Facebook Pain

Good Day friends. Or more so Good Night friends.
It is just barely Monday still and it has occurred to me that ....dramatic pause... I forgot to write today!! Ohhh the shame...is gone because I will still make my deadline.Hoorah!!

Ok ok, Let's get to the point.

I was immediately inspired to write about this topic today (roughly 23 minutes ago) when my fiance finally came back from his bachelor party with paintball welts all over his body. He showed me his back and arms and I had the crazy thought of "WHY THE HECK IS THIS FUN!!" Not even a question, just upgraded to full on statement. But really...why is this fun to men? I believe it makes little to no sense to females why in the world men associate a big event (birthdays, weddings, anniversarys. Circle one) with inflicting great pain upon themselves. Why oh why would one ever do such a thing??

Hey while we're talking about mysteries how about this one: why do women stalk past relationships on facebook and then sit crying at their computer?? Hmmm... men any guesses for this one? Women, of their own free will, have the choice to actively stalk someone on facebook, see who they are talking to, what pictures are being posted, which pictures they are being tagged in, who they are adding as friends, etc etc. Women, we are just as bad as men, willingly going to inflict pain on ourselves to celebrate a big event (breakups, separations, ex-friends, divorces). Now... let's not kid ourselves and pretend we've never done this. Hello, my arm is waving high in the sky, guilty. Super guilty actually. I could have saved myself from a lot of pain in the past, not by ignoring facebook, but by simply having the self control to not go near albums or people's pages that I knew would just inflict pain.
"Oh but Sherylynn... all these pictures and cutesy comments from my ex to this girl (who I don't even know who she is and has blocked her profile to non-friends (how rude!) so I can't even see who she is) keep showing up on my homepage and I can't get away cuz I always just 'stumble' upon them again."
Uhhh yes you can. 1) Then don't go on facebook. 2) Stop clicking on them and then spending the next 30 minutes 'stumbling' upon their favorite television shows, where they were yesterday, how many friends they have, etc.. Think of it this way: if you have a cut but leave it alone, it will just heal, but if you pick at it day and night it takes a lot longer to heal!
If you know in your mind and heart that you are hoping something comes up from a past relationship when you login to facebook then you are just setting yourself up for pain. As if you are just pouring things into a wound that will get more infected and take forever to heal.

Basically, women don't understand men that want to inflict physical pain upon themseves for a big event. But think for a bit on the fact that women are often way more keen to inflict emotional pain upon themselves (on a daily basis i might add!) after a big event. If you can limit the amount of pain you willingly put yourself through via facebook (or whatever else) wouldn't you want to do so? I encourage that this week and will be praying for people in tricky situations to have wounds heal quicker, with less self-inflicted pain disrupting the process.

Much love to all! (and to all a good night)