Monday, March 25, 2013

Strategic Placement Dating

Friends, I will again give you some unrequested tips on dating this week. Your welcome.

Today I shall share another lesson I have learned on dating: don't strategically place yourself to get a guys attention.

You may be confused what I mean when I say strategic placement. Let me explain through the use of  some situations you may or may not have thought to yourself when attempting to get a males attention:

I'm going to stay online all day, then maybe we can facebook chat, maybe even skype.
I'll make sure to be the last one at his party because "I am waiting for my ride".
I know where he usually grabs coffee in the morning, that's where I'm going to start going too.
I'm going to walk my dog around his neighbourhood hoping he sees me, even though I live across town.
If I switch banks to his bank I think we might run into each other more.
I'm going to wear his favorite colour for a conversation starter.
I just found out which is his favorite clothing store, I'll try and get a job there.
I'll 'accidentally' pocket dial him and see if he phones back.
I'm going to get my mom to drop me off so that maybe he might offer to drive me home.
He said he liked trees, so I will wear this shirt with a tree on it whenever I think I might run into him.

I dare you to believe that this doesn't happen to some degree every day everwhere around you. Girls are totally crazy. And I say that and can come up with such fantastic examples because I use to try and strategically place myself all the time so this one guy would see me. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Either way, my thought process was way off!

Ask yourself a few of these questions:
Do you really want a guy to like you because you are conveniently right in front of him all the time? Or do you want to just live your life being you, and not constantly manipulating scenarios so that you end up near him, talking to him, getting a ride home from him, etc.
Would you not rather have a guy that notices you from across the room as opposed to a guy that practically trips over you because you positioned yourself so close?

When I realized how much of my life I was depending on somebody else something clicked in me and I realized that the last few years of my life the majority of my decisions had been based, not on my own preferences, but on what I thought a guy might want of me. Horrible to admit that, but there it is. Friends, I encourage you not to make decisions based on whether the guy you like is also going or not but to follow your own interests and dreams and then look to see who is beside you.

Don't place yourself in the way of a dating path, be you, following your own interests and the path will come to you.

Stay awesome friends... stay awesome.

Monday, March 18, 2013

How to Find Friends and a Husband

Say whaaaat? Yes, I know, such a bold claim of me.
Take Note: I did not say husbands.

Alright, so let's jump in and get to the point of such a powerful title.
Last week I was trying to write up something on dating... this week I tried again and ended up with this:
Here are two key things that will get you both friends that respect you and a husband that cherishes you:
     1) Figure out who you are.
     2) Be you.

That's it! Taaa daaa!
Now, if you are thinking "No, Sherylynn, it's not that simple" or "Sherylynn, you got my hopes up for nothing, I want to punch you in the face" then keep reading and I will explain further.

One of the most freeing lessons you will ever have in your life is the lesson of knowing who God created you to be and loving yourself. Never ever will I say that it is a simple process, path, or journey but when you get to a point in your life when you realize that the Creator of the Universe also created you and, even more than that, he considers you one of his favourites!!... you're not so concerned if a fellow human being doesn't get your sense of humour.

So I say it again: figure out who you are. And if you can figure out who you were called to be before you go through some really emotionally draining experiences, well done, you are one of the few but I greatly encourage it. But basically, find out what makes you happy, sad, frustrated, encouraged. What is your favorite animal or restaurant? What breaks your heart? Do you have a favourite colour? What are your dreams and goals in life? What are your beliefs? Does your favorite food change everyday? Find out these things about yourself and embrace them. Continue to work to improve negative traits while still loving the quirky habits you have. When you find this, a self confidence will begin to grow inside of you that you have never felt before. This doesn't mean that you have the answers to all life will throw at you but it means that you have the confidence in yourself to know that the answers and guidance will come.

This is when freedom arrives, because once you know who you are you can start to just be you, and the stress of trying to live up to standards and people's opinions about who you are "supposed to be" is thrown off your shoulders. You don't have to panic about being anybody else, you just have to be you... and who better to be you, than you! Now when you communicate with others and the opposite gender you don't have to worry about looking cool or hip or being funny... you just have to do whatever comes naturally to you. Doing this will attract the people that connect with who you are and will also bring the right guy to you.

Think about it: if you go on a date with a guy and you are being yourself, but after he doesn't want to make plans for a second date... what a relief! He was not for you. If you tried to convince yourself that you were perfect for him and maybe you need to change who you are so he can see it... you deceive him and you deceive yourself. Find the freedom of knowing that when you go on a date as yourself, there is nothing to lose. It's better to find out that he is not the guy for you after the first five minutes than after the first five years.

Take Note: I am not saying for you to take on the attitude of "Well, I'm me and if you don't like it, screw you." No... that is not what this is all about. When you find who God has created you to be, you will have peace and contentment in your life and people will be attracted to that. Your closest friends will be the ones who best match your personality and are encouraged by you and vice versa. Adjusting who you are to match someone else's expectation will never grow self-respect, confidence or peace within you, only turmoil, fear and guilt.

YOU are beautiful, so don't hide yourself; embrace who you are and flourish in who you were meant to be!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Dreams in small portions

Sometimes when you are tired you don't want to chase after a dream. And that's understandable.

It just sucks when you become refreshed and you wish you had still worked towards your dream even when you were tired because you could have been that much further ahead.

Also, sometimes if you miss a deadline for a goal you think you failed the goal entirely. Not so, though. It just means that you get to try again. You only fail if you give up.

My ever so deep thoughts come from.. well for starters, they come from me... but they come from the fact that it is now technically Tuesday... and not Monday when I normally post. And I normally post on Monday so that I can continue a strict schedule to keep me writing every week. I like to write every week with the meager time I put away to do it because I know that if I wait for time to open up, well, I'll just be waiting forever. Dreams happen when you just make them happen. You do them. Tired or not.

So tonight I am tired and started writing this whole other thing on dating for your reading pleasure but I just ended up confusing myself and then I felt over my head in creating a comprehensive point to the entire thing. So instead of just not writing this week because of my frustrations towards one topic I opted to write this. It's not much, it's not perfect, it's not particularly life changing or funny I don't think, but it's one little piece closer to my dreams of writing books and other things of publication.

If I woke up tomorrow and realized that I hadn't posted anything the night before, simply because I couldn't make my sentences make sense or because I just got tired and wanted to sleep, I would be saddened with myself.

So for this week, I leave you with this quote:
Don't rely on giant strides everyday, take the baby steps when you can; they are the ones others took the most notice over anyways.

I hope you all have a great week working towards goals and dreams. Don't go for perfection, just go.
We'll talk about dating next week after I sort all those thoughts out with a refreshed brain.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Blonde Accountability: Why you need friends.

It's Monday, a whole new week to live. Let's party party!

Today I felt the importance to discuss accountability... especially as a blonde. Yes, if you were unaware I am a blonde (technically self proclaimed strawberry blonde but pff specifics), and here is a true story for you. You may have read this on my facebook page before but I was thinking about it this past week and decided to expand on it. Here it is...

Scenario: My brother and I are driving past the Chilliwack Airport on a week night, it is super dark outside.
Sher: "I wonder what happens when they have to change that light?" (the light that spins around on the top of the airport)
Brother: .....looks at Sher...."They probably do it during the day."
Sher: "oh right.....I don't want to talk about this anymore."

So, a pretty simple situation right? Two people talking and sharing their different perspectives and one of them just happens to come up with a blonde question, it happens!

Now see, at the time of this conversation I was quite serious about my question; in my mind it was pitch black outside and if the spinning airport light burnt out how the heck would the airplanes know where to go!! A crisis situation would have come up. It was only until I shared my question of concern with someone else did I realize that my thought process was missing an element of 'light'. I also realized that my great concern was actually completely ungrounded and I was fretting about nothing. This my friends, is the importance of friends and accountability. I could have gone my entire life deeply pondering how they change this light thinking that there was no way to do it... OR I would have realized years later that obviously they would do it during the day when the light wouldn't be in use.

When sharing thoughts, concerns and life situations with a trusted and responsible friend you open yourself up to gaining clarity for your particular situation. If you ask a friend for feedback on a decision you are making in your life they can provide 'light' to the situation in what the Bible says on the topic or perhaps share a similar situation they have already walked through and what they learned. A friend can also help keep you accountable to dreams, goals, commitments, but you have to be willing to share parts of your life with them. At the very least, your friend can kindly explain to you that your question was kind of blonde and they will encourage you not to repeat it in large groups. Friends are gems!

I encourage you not to be afraid to go to a trusted and responsible friend to help you shine 'light' on your situation and to gain another perspective. Your singular perspective could have flaws to it, shocking I know, which is why it is always good to get another opinion and make sure you are on track with who you want to become.



Be brave this week and share some thoughts and dreams with a friend!
Have a fantastic week friends, I am blessed to know you all!