February 14: Stop the S.A.D. Talk

Valentines Day. Yes, I'm going there.

Let's look at what I know about this day first:

It is coming up this week.
By the 15th, it will be over.
The day will not kill you.

Agreed? Excellent, let's go a bit further.

This is more about what I know on Valentines: It's about love.
Why does it have to get more complicated than that or be about single people? Consider it a day to show some love to friends, parents, siblings, even strangers if you feel so inclined. Random acts of kindness on Valentines is an incredible way to remind yourself that everyone loves to feel special, and you will feel special just by being a part of that.

I've never had a huge issue with Valentines Day. Whether I was single, dating, and now married it doesn't have this huge arrow in my calendar every year that says "the day someone must show me their passionate and undying love for me... or life. will. suck." All around me things were always happening every year of course; candy grams would arrive for fellow students during middle school/high school, flowers would arrive for coworkers at my office, and, as always, single people would whine that they hated being single. Oh that was mean, I meant 'not show enthusiasm' for being single. Glad, I clarified that. (Don't get too mad, or you'll miss the good stuff coming up.) As I look back on the last 10 years I actually don't remember any male (Andrew excluded) doing anything life changing, or even that nice really, on Valentines. Nothing really comes to mind, but get this: it also may be because I don't recall building up unrealistic expectations for the day that would get devastingly crushed if nothing at all even remotely close to those expectations occurred. Nor did I take is as a personal offense if my coupled friends were going out on a date that night and use it to magnify and compare to my life, why should I be offended by their blessing? (Has the Lord not also poured many blessings into my life?)

Now what I DO remember is always having fun on Valentines Day. Know why? Because I expected to have great fun. I would hang out with people, wear pink, red and white, make cards for friends, do special things for others. This was not to distract myself "until I had a boyfriend/husband" but because I love my friends and family and love showing my appreciation for them on this day each year.

If by this point you are offended and upset with me because "I'm married now so have nothing to complain about" so I shouldn't be saying any of this, well then... I do apologize. It was not my intent to get anyone all upset and angry with me because I am not in their shoes so don't understand them. And fair enough, I am not. But I do know however what it is to be single with no prospects on Valentines Day, to be single with prospects, to be a secret and ignored, secret and ignored, secret and ignored, secret and ignored, secret and ignored, secret and ignored, man-hating and bitter, dating a man worth my time, and married to a man that loves me. So basically throughout my life, life has happened, and at no point did I dread February 14 or see it as a Singles Awareness Day. I don't mean to enforce my own outlook on others but pray that you can see Valentines Day beyond a "Singles Awareness Day". When calling it this I think you are actually robbing yourself of joy on this very day because instead of having 'love, friendship, celebrate, appreciate" rolling through your head you have "Singles awareness, I am alone... so alone... why me", see how dangerous that mindset is? Single does not mean you are not loved or that you are alone. It means you should celebrate the love that is in your life!

I encourage you this Valentines Day to just celebrate the fact that you are totally awesome, don't even doubt it for a second. I encourage you to keep your mind in a beautiful place of celebrating love and how great it is to have people in your life that love you for your fantastic self.

It's going to be an awesome day this Feburary 14th, don't miss out!