Greetings friends!
I am now back to posting every Monday. And for the last few weeks I have been thinking on this topic: people's very conflicting views on marriage. Obviously I'm not going to get into some huge technical debate because let's be serious, I'll just bore myself... plus I lack the knowledge to do so... but I will mention this.
Here I go.
When family, friends or strangers find out you are getting married or have gotten married you basically get a variation of one of these reactions:
"Oh my gosh I'm so excited for you!!"
OR
"You'll regret it! Worst decision I ever made."
Now, be honest, which of these reactions do you think tells more about the persons own life/marriage then it does about yours?
Hint: Vote #2.
To keep you in the loop, I got married last week and I had a handful of situations where people I knew or complete strangers told me what a horrible decision marriage was and that I still have time to back out. In fact, as I was getting some wedding photos taken an older couple biked past us and the man said "You'll regret it" then kept biking. I shake my head at you. One, how do you think that makes your wife feel? Two, if you say dumb things like this in front of your wife, that is probably not helping your marriage. I will stop there.
My annoyance today is with people's opinion on marriage. Whether serious or 'joking' a vast majority of people carry the opinion that marriage is to be regretted, the end of your life, a horrible commitment, giving up all control of your life, a battlefield of sorts and the worst part is they work to pass this opinion on to any newly engaged or married couple! Why?? This baffles my mind. In an offensive manner I say that just because you dislike how your marriage is going should in no way impact the way my marriage(or other people's marriages) will go.
Now, before we get too carried away here I am shining the light on the positive. I know way more couples that love marriage!! They love what God has created and how He brings people together. I know people that love to fall in love over and over again with their spouse and have been doing so for years. Family and friends that work at their marriage and it thrives and they have nothing but encouragement and joy for new couples that get to now experience the joy of marrying the love of their life. Guess which side I am going to go to for advice. (Rhetorical question. Not going to pessimistic people, just for clarification).
If you are quietly thinking to yourself "Sherylynn you've only been married for a week... give it time you'll see what a bad decision it was.." I respond in my two year old nephew's fashion and I say "NOT!" aka No. When you fill your mind with these things then your mind and emotions start preparing themselves for when things will 'go bad' or for when the 'honeymoon stage' is over. I choose to be excited about marriage, not just for me but for others as well. I choose to be for my marriage not against it and I choose to encourage all marriages for my friends, family members, and even strangers. I choose to communicate and resolve when need be to keep my marriage strong. I choose to hold a new optimistic view on marriage that others can follow. I choose to look for life not death and to encourage not breakdown. I choose to love.
Sher, thank you for this post!
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how many times I have had someone sitting in my chair at the salon, griping about their spouse, and telling me how I should never ever get married and all this pessimistic crap.
And every time I just wanna scream, "JUST CUZ IT'S NOT RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES EVERY SECOND DOESN'T MEAN IT'S BAD!"
In fact, in my not-so-humble opinion, the fact that one day I'll have someone there to keep me accountable and bump my corners off is actually kind-of reassuring. It means I won't always be the same person I am now, and will hopefully be a better person by the time it's all said and done. It also means God hasn't abandoned me yet, and is going to continue working on me, partly thru that other person.
AND LETS NOT FORGET THE BLESSINGS OF RELATIONSHIPS, which people seem to forget all too quickly.
So all that to say, I'M ROOTING FOR YOU ON THE OPTIMISM SIDE!!! WOOHOO!! GO MARRIAGE GO! :p
April, you make me smile. Thank you, I concurr!! I still get people commenting to me about whether the 'honeymoon stage' is over yet and if I have wondered what I had done or people telling me "I wonder how long that will last" to Andrew opening doors for me. On some level it's like people waiting for our marriage to become standard and just like everyone else's so they don't have to feel bad that they don't go out of their way for their spouse any more. I keep telling people that I reject their comments and pessimism. haha Seriously. It also motivates me to prove them wrong and be an example. SHINE SOME LIGHT!! BE SOME SUNSHINE!!
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