It has happened, the realization that I will have a new name.
As I was signing a small stack of papers today attempting to make my 'SNiezen' signature look more legible than the previous one it really dawned on me that I will have a new name once I get married next month. Not only that, but the difficulties of handwriting two capital S's in a row is a very difficult task. Oh, for clarification my new last name will be Smith. Moving on, so obviously I grabbed a spare piece of paper and attempted to give my new signature a test run... like I was back in middle school again crushing on a boy... and I feel like I'm playing grownup all over again. Teaching my hand to quickly hand write a cool looking signature that looks effortless but yet is still legible is an unfinished task. Do you know how hard it is to finish off any signature, let alone with a 'th'. Oh man. Give it a try. Just write out SSmith twenty times on a page. Not weird at all.
Anyways, all that rambling to tell you that while I was scribbling on scrap paper trying to figure out my new name I began to worry myself about losing my identity... my last name is changing... what if people can't find me in the phone book (which no one actually looks in anymore these days)... am I a new person?!?!? Admittingly, it was a small scale panic attack. Many times in the past I have pretended to be someone else for fear of what people might think or to please someone else. So naturally, the very idea of changing my name sparked concern in me that I was becoming someone else. But alas!! it is not true. The very fact that I am getting a new last name is a testament to who God has created me to be and the blessings He has put in my life that I get to become a part of. I get a new name and I'm excited for it.
Ummm that's my thought for this week. To go deeper I will say this: you can drag change out and whine that it is changing you or you can accept the fact that change can be for a good purpose and look at it with excitement so you can receive the blessings that come from it.
Ok bye!!
I didn't preponder the new name thing a the time but after getting married, it did take a long time to get used to the new name and feel like it was really mine. My family name was a big part of me, proudly linked me with the people I loved the most. Your name, truly part of your identity. The act of giving that up, and taking the name of your husband as you start a life together is part of the "leaving and cleaving" as my parents call it (Matt 19:5). You are making a new life, methamorphing to become part of the other person. I think it is good you are reflecting and making peace and I hope you enjoy your new identity as SSmith... I think it sounds like a lovely ship.
ReplyDeleteI would like to point out that I still check the phone book for people....totally not in a creepy way though. But rest assured if I ever need your number I'll just look for SSmith.
ReplyDeleteP.S. ReLly liked what you said about change. Thanks for that reminder.
I like you friends. I like you a lot. Thanks for sharing words with me :)
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