Advertising Blame

Ahh Mondays, you just never know what kind of day you might get. Will it be a slow and mellow day? Perchance a day that you get a promotion? Perhaps a day where you get not seven but EIGHT M&Ms out of the candy machine? Or maybe it's a day where your building's electrical supply almost gets taken out by a forklift. You just never know.

Today, I had one of the above happened to me. And I observed the people around me after what I shall call 'the incident' occurred. There were basically two reactions to the incident. Let me give you two over dramatic reaction scenarious to help give a better picture:

You got EIGHT m&ms!!

ok just kidding... here they really are:

1) The No-Name Brand
"Where is everybody?" said person one.
"Oh, somebody accidentally snagged the powerline and they are outside helping to fix it and ensure we don't get electrocuted." said person two.
"Crazy, ok I will talk to them later," said person one.

2) Blame Advertisement
"Where is everybody?" said one person.
"Oh, (name of person) hit the powerline. What a goof, he totally wasn't paying attention to what he was doing." said person two.
"Pff, this totally doesn't surprise me, he would do that." said person one.

Do you see what's happening there? When the person in charge of supplying information responded calmly with a 'No-Name Brand' story as to what happened, focusing on the solution to the incident, others responded in the same pattern. When the person answering decided to focus on the unfortunate event and putting the blame onto somebody directly, others also responded in the same pattern building on that blame.

I think sadly sometimes we forget how much power we have over our conversations by the words and attitudes that we choose to utilize. Every one of us carries the power to build up or tear down, to encourage or to destroy and to speak pleasantly or rudely. I know I can be better in conversations, I will be the first to confess that I forget the power of conversation and the power that I have to keep the talk on a positive note, looking towards solutions, as opposed to focusing on the incidents of everyday life. We obviously can't control what anyone else around us will say or do but we can control ourselves. (And if you can't, then keep trying and you will get there.) This week I encourage you to honestly think before you speak, which seems like standard advice but let's take it to the adult level. Ask yourself if you are putting blame on someone when there is no need, are you focusing on the solution or the incident/problem or are the words that you are speaking ones that will encourage or discourage?

If someone over heard your conversation about them would they smile and feel good about themselves or would they feel like crying and want to avoid you?

I strive to be better and don't always succeed, but I shall persist until my brain is so focused on optimism that positivity will be the only thing within me to come tumbling out.

Praying for positive and uplifting conversations for you all this week!