How to Find Friends and a Husband

Say whaaaat? Yes, I know, such a bold claim of me.
Take Note: I did not say husbands.

Alright, so let's jump in and get to the point of such a powerful title.
Last week I was trying to write up something on dating... this week I tried again and ended up with this:
Here are two key things that will get you both friends that respect you and a husband that cherishes you:
     1) Figure out who you are.
     2) Be you.

That's it! Taaa daaa!
Now, if you are thinking "No, Sherylynn, it's not that simple" or "Sherylynn, you got my hopes up for nothing, I want to punch you in the face" then keep reading and I will explain further.

One of the most freeing lessons you will ever have in your life is the lesson of knowing who God created you to be and loving yourself. Never ever will I say that it is a simple process, path, or journey but when you get to a point in your life when you realize that the Creator of the Universe also created you and, even more than that, he considers you one of his favourites!!... you're not so concerned if a fellow human being doesn't get your sense of humour.

So I say it again: figure out who you are. And if you can figure out who you were called to be before you go through some really emotionally draining experiences, well done, you are one of the few but I greatly encourage it. But basically, find out what makes you happy, sad, frustrated, encouraged. What is your favorite animal or restaurant? What breaks your heart? Do you have a favourite colour? What are your dreams and goals in life? What are your beliefs? Does your favorite food change everyday? Find out these things about yourself and embrace them. Continue to work to improve negative traits while still loving the quirky habits you have. When you find this, a self confidence will begin to grow inside of you that you have never felt before. This doesn't mean that you have the answers to all life will throw at you but it means that you have the confidence in yourself to know that the answers and guidance will come.

This is when freedom arrives, because once you know who you are you can start to just be you, and the stress of trying to live up to standards and people's opinions about who you are "supposed to be" is thrown off your shoulders. You don't have to panic about being anybody else, you just have to be you... and who better to be you, than you! Now when you communicate with others and the opposite gender you don't have to worry about looking cool or hip or being funny... you just have to do whatever comes naturally to you. Doing this will attract the people that connect with who you are and will also bring the right guy to you.

Think about it: if you go on a date with a guy and you are being yourself, but after he doesn't want to make plans for a second date... what a relief! He was not for you. If you tried to convince yourself that you were perfect for him and maybe you need to change who you are so he can see it... you deceive him and you deceive yourself. Find the freedom of knowing that when you go on a date as yourself, there is nothing to lose. It's better to find out that he is not the guy for you after the first five minutes than after the first five years.

Take Note: I am not saying for you to take on the attitude of "Well, I'm me and if you don't like it, screw you." No... that is not what this is all about. When you find who God has created you to be, you will have peace and contentment in your life and people will be attracted to that. Your closest friends will be the ones who best match your personality and are encouraged by you and vice versa. Adjusting who you are to match someone else's expectation will never grow self-respect, confidence or peace within you, only turmoil, fear and guilt.

YOU are beautiful, so don't hide yourself; embrace who you are and flourish in who you were meant to be!

Dreams in small portions

Sometimes when you are tired you don't want to chase after a dream. And that's understandable.

It just sucks when you become refreshed and you wish you had still worked towards your dream even when you were tired because you could have been that much further ahead.

Also, sometimes if you miss a deadline for a goal you think you failed the goal entirely. Not so, though. It just means that you get to try again. You only fail if you give up.

My ever so deep thoughts come from.. well for starters, they come from me... but they come from the fact that it is now technically Tuesday... and not Monday when I normally post. And I normally post on Monday so that I can continue a strict schedule to keep me writing every week. I like to write every week with the meager time I put away to do it because I know that if I wait for time to open up, well, I'll just be waiting forever. Dreams happen when you just make them happen. You do them. Tired or not.

So tonight I am tired and started writing this whole other thing on dating for your reading pleasure but I just ended up confusing myself and then I felt over my head in creating a comprehensive point to the entire thing. So instead of just not writing this week because of my frustrations towards one topic I opted to write this. It's not much, it's not perfect, it's not particularly life changing or funny I don't think, but it's one little piece closer to my dreams of writing books and other things of publication.

If I woke up tomorrow and realized that I hadn't posted anything the night before, simply because I couldn't make my sentences make sense or because I just got tired and wanted to sleep, I would be saddened with myself.

So for this week, I leave you with this quote:
Don't rely on giant strides everyday, take the baby steps when you can; they are the ones others took the most notice over anyways.

I hope you all have a great week working towards goals and dreams. Don't go for perfection, just go.
We'll talk about dating next week after I sort all those thoughts out with a refreshed brain.

Blonde Accountability: Why you need friends.

It's Monday, a whole new week to live. Let's party party!

Today I felt the importance to discuss accountability... especially as a blonde. Yes, if you were unaware I am a blonde (technically self proclaimed strawberry blonde but pff specifics), and here is a true story for you. You may have read this on my facebook page before but I was thinking about it this past week and decided to expand on it. Here it is...

Scenario: My brother and I are driving past the Chilliwack Airport on a week night, it is super dark outside.
Sher: "I wonder what happens when they have to change that light?" (the light that spins around on the top of the airport)
Brother: .....looks at Sher...."They probably do it during the day."
Sher: "oh right.....I don't want to talk about this anymore."

So, a pretty simple situation right? Two people talking and sharing their different perspectives and one of them just happens to come up with a blonde question, it happens!

Now see, at the time of this conversation I was quite serious about my question; in my mind it was pitch black outside and if the spinning airport light burnt out how the heck would the airplanes know where to go!! A crisis situation would have come up. It was only until I shared my question of concern with someone else did I realize that my thought process was missing an element of 'light'. I also realized that my great concern was actually completely ungrounded and I was fretting about nothing. This my friends, is the importance of friends and accountability. I could have gone my entire life deeply pondering how they change this light thinking that there was no way to do it... OR I would have realized years later that obviously they would do it during the day when the light wouldn't be in use.

When sharing thoughts, concerns and life situations with a trusted and responsible friend you open yourself up to gaining clarity for your particular situation. If you ask a friend for feedback on a decision you are making in your life they can provide 'light' to the situation in what the Bible says on the topic or perhaps share a similar situation they have already walked through and what they learned. A friend can also help keep you accountable to dreams, goals, commitments, but you have to be willing to share parts of your life with them. At the very least, your friend can kindly explain to you that your question was kind of blonde and they will encourage you not to repeat it in large groups. Friends are gems!

I encourage you not to be afraid to go to a trusted and responsible friend to help you shine 'light' on your situation and to gain another perspective. Your singular perspective could have flaws to it, shocking I know, which is why it is always good to get another opinion and make sure you are on track with who you want to become.



Be brave this week and share some thoughts and dreams with a friend!
Have a fantastic week friends, I am blessed to know you all!

Storytime: I just want a pickle

It's been a while again... let's gather around for a Storytime Monday.

One day Stubborn Sally walked into the kitchen. Wouldn't you know it she all of a sudden wanted some pickles, so she went to the fridge, grabbed the jar and got excited for the delicious pickles she was going to eat. Once the lid was off of course.

The lid. What a cruel yet necessary invention. Stubborn Sally tried and tried to lefty loosy the lid but couldn't succeed.

"Do you want some help?" asked Helpful Hank as he had been watching her struggle the last few minutes.

"No, I work out, I can do it myself," replied Stubborn Sally.

So she tried again, this time using the many methods she had seen over the years, cloth over lid, smacking the lid with a fork, really quickly trying to turn lid, crying, pleading with lid, and still no pickles were freed.

"Are you sure you don't want me to help?" asked Helpful Hank, by this point feeling quite sorry for her.

"Leave me alone Hank, I can get a stupid pickle on my own," replied Stubborn Sally. (She doesn't work well under stress)

All of a sudden, the solution came to Stubborn Sally! I am so smart, she thought to herself, all I must do to solve this problem is bang the jar on the side of the counter and the lid will come loose. It just seemed so simple. So Stubborn Sally commenced tapping the jar on the side of the kitchen counter. When tapping did no harm she moved on to a heavier hitting, then she began to just throw all her weight into smacking the jar on the counter. Surely, it comes as no surprise to you that the jar completely shattered. Stubborn Sally in the process received some horrible gashes in her hands and fingers and all the pickles ended up on the floor. Now crying, holding up wounded hands, and with an "I give up" look on her face Stubborn Sally turned to Helpful Hank.

"Now will you let me help you?" Helpful Hank asked. To which Stubborn Sally nodded her head and allowed Helpful Hank to bring her to get some much needed stitches for her wounds.

Storytime Statement: God knows the solution before the problem and how to get to it. It seems to be easier to humble ourselves and accept the help provided by Him as opposed to our own solution, which is typically ridiculous in hindsight and always seems to gradually cause us more and more pain.

Update: Dentist Freakout, Kind of

Haaaaaaaaaaappy Monday!!

If you recall, I wrote this a few months ago on my thoughts about dentists: Dentists & Attitudes
Basic Overview: I freak out when going to the dentist and I strongly dislike going there but have a goal to readjust my attitude so that my teeth don't all fall out.

Now fast forward to a few weeks ago and I was on vacation. On my great vacation I ate pineapple and as everyone knows pineapple is ALWAYS more delicious when relaxing near an ocean so I ate quite a bit, and it was during this pineapple eating that I realized my back tooth really hurt. Naturally, as a dramatic Sherylynn, I panicked that my tooth was rotting out of my head, waited until I got back to my room then made awkward faces in the mirror to try and self evaluate my tooth. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a good angle so I had to use my camera to attempt to take pictures of the inside of my mouth. Then I proceeded to zoom in on every single blurry picture to try and evaluate how long my tooth had to live. Sure signs of desperation.

I tried to remain calm. I promise I really did. But after my complete self-dental exam, based on zero dental education background, I concluded that I had at least 8 cavities. Then spent the rest of the vacation trying to not panic on my rotting teeth and re-examining each photo when I got the chance, just in case I missed a cavity... all while my poor husband told me that there was nothing I could do while on vacation so I should stop looking at the pictures. Like a psycho. (I added that last part, Andrew wouldn't say that).

Totally different subject! About halfway into my vacation I realized that I had no idea what I had done with an important cheque that I was supposed to have sent away before I left. Had I really put it in the mail? Was it still in my car? Did I leave it at work? Will I miss the due date!?!

Both these concerns (dentist and cheque) I attempted to put out of my mind because logically I knew that there was absolutely nothing I could do while on vacation, other than make a reminder to make a dentist appointment when I got back home and to look for the cheque. And so this is what I did my best to do, with the verse "Do not be anxious about anything" constantly rolling around in my brain.

Upon returning to Chilli chilli chill wack, I called the dentist... and to ensure that I followed through on my attitude adjustment, I immediately told the lady on the phone that I was having a better attitude about the dentist, which she actually seemed quite proud of me so that was nice. Turns out there was space for an appointment in either two days or two months! Knowing that I would cancel come April, I accepted the two day away appointment spot, then hungup the phone and realized that I was actually sweaty and shaky from just phoning the dentist. Cute, right?

But I used all my courage and I showed up for my appointment. Upon just seeing the building I immediately felt a sense of "dun dun duuuun, Dental pain." BUT THEN, I remembered I was to have a better attitude. So, I walked through the office door, sat in the waiting room trying to steady by psycho breathing and doing my best not to cry (wish I was joking) as today was going to be different, then came my turn for the chair. The girl was proud I had returned and was super sensitive on my dainty teeth. There were some buzz's and whirr's and wouldn't you know it, I was done already.

This is where I'm really going to shock you though... my self dental exam was completely wrong.
I know, how is that possible!! Turns out I only have one tiny cavity that they aren't even worried about but will keep an eye on. You win this time paranoia.

So my heart began to lighten that I would not have to return for 8 fillings! But that's not all!! Remember that cheque? Well I was looking everywhere for it as soon as I got back but couldn't find it anywhere. I kept feeling like I should delay cancelling the cheque and getting a new one sent out, and wouldn't you know it, as soon as I left the dentist office, and I'm not joking, I walked out of the office and I got a text saying the cheque had just been deposited, the day before it was due. RELIEF!

My heart felt so relieved from trying not to stress about these events. Oh God is good. It was at that moment that I kind of chuckled to myself that I ever worry about these little things, God's got this. And God's got you friends. Don't be afraid to throw your anxiety's and concerns on Him this week.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Philippians 4:6

February 14: Stop the S.A.D. Talk

Valentines Day. Yes, I'm going there.

Let's look at what I know about this day first:

It is coming up this week.
By the 15th, it will be over.
The day will not kill you.

Agreed? Excellent, let's go a bit further.

This is more about what I know on Valentines: It's about love.
Why does it have to get more complicated than that or be about single people? Consider it a day to show some love to friends, parents, siblings, even strangers if you feel so inclined. Random acts of kindness on Valentines is an incredible way to remind yourself that everyone loves to feel special, and you will feel special just by being a part of that.

I've never had a huge issue with Valentines Day. Whether I was single, dating, and now married it doesn't have this huge arrow in my calendar every year that says "the day someone must show me their passionate and undying love for me... or life. will. suck." All around me things were always happening every year of course; candy grams would arrive for fellow students during middle school/high school, flowers would arrive for coworkers at my office, and, as always, single people would whine that they hated being single. Oh that was mean, I meant 'not show enthusiasm' for being single. Glad, I clarified that. (Don't get too mad, or you'll miss the good stuff coming up.) As I look back on the last 10 years I actually don't remember any male (Andrew excluded) doing anything life changing, or even that nice really, on Valentines. Nothing really comes to mind, but get this: it also may be because I don't recall building up unrealistic expectations for the day that would get devastingly crushed if nothing at all even remotely close to those expectations occurred. Nor did I take is as a personal offense if my coupled friends were going out on a date that night and use it to magnify and compare to my life, why should I be offended by their blessing? (Has the Lord not also poured many blessings into my life?)

Now what I DO remember is always having fun on Valentines Day. Know why? Because I expected to have great fun. I would hang out with people, wear pink, red and white, make cards for friends, do special things for others. This was not to distract myself "until I had a boyfriend/husband" but because I love my friends and family and love showing my appreciation for them on this day each year.

If by this point you are offended and upset with me because "I'm married now so have nothing to complain about" so I shouldn't be saying any of this, well then... I do apologize. It was not my intent to get anyone all upset and angry with me because I am not in their shoes so don't understand them. And fair enough, I am not. But I do know however what it is to be single with no prospects on Valentines Day, to be single with prospects, to be a secret and ignored, secret and ignored, secret and ignored, secret and ignored, secret and ignored, secret and ignored, man-hating and bitter, dating a man worth my time, and married to a man that loves me. So basically throughout my life, life has happened, and at no point did I dread February 14 or see it as a Singles Awareness Day. I don't mean to enforce my own outlook on others but pray that you can see Valentines Day beyond a "Singles Awareness Day". When calling it this I think you are actually robbing yourself of joy on this very day because instead of having 'love, friendship, celebrate, appreciate" rolling through your head you have "Singles awareness, I am alone... so alone... why me", see how dangerous that mindset is? Single does not mean you are not loved or that you are alone. It means you should celebrate the love that is in your life!

I encourage you this Valentines Day to just celebrate the fact that you are totally awesome, don't even doubt it for a second. I encourage you to keep your mind in a beautiful place of celebrating love and how great it is to have people in your life that love you for your fantastic self.

It's going to be an awesome day this Feburary 14th, don't miss out!

Betty & Veronica are Mistaken

Happy Day Friends!

So as promised last week, today we discuss Betty and Veronica... and how confused they are on proper relationships.
I have to just tell you first though that I'm excited for the next few weeks!! I feel like God has been kind of swirling things around in my heart the last week and so many new realizations have come to the surface that I can't wait to share with you all.

But again, today we discuss Betty and Veronica, here's how this came about... I was in the grocery store the other day, as those who like food usually frequent, and as I was standing in the line I naturally looked over all the magazines with celebrities and half exposed women telling me how to be better. I know there have been discussions on hiding these magazines so that young girls don't look at them and feel bad about their self image. Now, while I'm pondering this and checking out what is on display that ISN'T a magazine of some famous person, I see.... the Archie comic. So then I surprised myself a bit and felt angry. Not even kidding. Well, ok not outwardly but inside me something just clicked where I thought... this seemingly innocent comic is so incredibly wrong. Not only is it wrong on high school, relationships, and how many burgers a real person can eat in one sitting, it is wrong in that it has been around for so many years having an influence on teenage girls.

Here's my issue: Growing up I recall reading whichever Archie comics I came across. Naturally I joined the debate on who was more fitting for Archie; Betty the kind, poor, blonde, or Veronica, the snobby, rich, brunette. I have always been Team Betty, I just always thought she was super nice. Therefore, I was always glad for Betty when Archie would make a date with her. Then I would be sad for Betty when he for some reason had to ditch her. Then I would be glad for Betty when she would get another date with Archie... until Veronica wormed her way into the plans and Archie would take off with Veronica...this carries on for forever.. or for as long as I was reading them.

Betty, my dear, comic friend.... why do you do this to yourself!?

She is willingly chasing after a guy that has made no sign of commitment to her, hoping that things will change.

Don't get too caught up on the fact that this is a comic because I know that these situations are happening more and more often in real life. The comics are teaching young women that it's ok to continually fall for a guy that doesn't know how to treat women... at all. Firstly, Archie does not know how to choose between two girls!! and secondly, he checks out every single girl that goes by him!! The fact that Archie comes off as such a 'good' guy is what really worries me, because it shows that women let their guard down. They don't depict Archie as a drug dealing, tattoo covered, manipulating punk that you would 'expect' to mistreat women. The guy that both of these women chase after is a pale, red headed, goof ball that tries to stay out of trouble.

I feel like I have seen Archie comics happen to me in real life and I know I'm not the only one. And to be quite honest, I just think it's time for that to stop. If the guy you want to date can't keep his mind and eyes off other girls, whilst also admitting to dating another girl at the same time as you.... walk away. No, just start running actually. Don't even feel bad about it. You deserve to never have to second guess where your guy is, who he is with and whether you are 'out of sight, out of mind' with him. You deserve to be loved and cherished and never to be the backup plan in case the original date cancels. You deserve real love, not dating guessing games.

Friends, with Valentines coming up, think about this:
Archie typically brings flowers and chocolates for the girl when he goes out on a date with them.
Archie, unfortunately, does this for both Betty and Veronica, as well as the other girls he tries to impress.
Just because a guy brings you flowers doesn't mean he's the guy you should be chasing.

Praying for freedom, for all that are searching, this week.